Hey Everyone, welcome to the Dontbeacrumqueen podcast.
Having Self Respect is what I want to talk about today.
Why is it so important especially when it comes to relationships?
Some will say it will protect you from toxic encounters or settling for less than you actually deserve. While both of those thoughts may be true, how does one “arrive” to a place where they have respect for themselves first?
I’m a firm believer in personal growth and embarking on that Journey (which ultimately leads to self respect) starts with going in reverse. What I mean by that is we have to return to our beginning….our childhood. Now, I know what you’re thinking but stick with me here. We’ve ALL had experiences growing up. Some were pleasant and some were not. It’s during that time that we began to establish behavioral patterns so we could cope with the world around us, emotionally.
Until you begin to understand the “how” and “why” behind your behavioral patterns, you will never see yourself through the eyes of self respect which ultimately lays the groundwork on how others will treat you.
I spent a lot of years seeking approval from men. I also spent a lot of years in “people pleaser” mode. I know now the “how” and “why” I adopted those behavioral patterns. I know where they came from. As much as I thought I had self respect all those years ago, my Life experiences would show that I did not. In all honesty, I’m not even sure I knew what self respect meant back then.
Today, I’m happy to say, I’m on a very different road. I’ve grown as a person, healed old wounds, un-learned behavioral patterns that were not healthy for me (although many benefited from them!) and today, I DO have self-respect.
I’ve learned that I don’t need external approval (from anyone) to know my value. I’m finally OK with people stepping away from me because they think I’m “too much”. I’m not shrinking for anyone, anymore. I’m comfortable setting boundaries for my own wellbeing and yes, I have values. If they become a stumbling block for someone, move along little doggie.
Having self respect doesn’t make you a mean or selfish person, so put away the guilt. It means that you’re not willing to bend over backwards for someone else at the cost to YOUR own self. I’ve learned how to say NO and I don’t feel bad about it.
Self respect is not arrogant. It doesn’t mean you think you are better than someone else. We all have gifts and talents that assist us in this thing we call Life. If you are better at something than me, SWEET! I am happy for you and I am not looking to try to become better than you in that particular category! I’m not interested in comparing. You do you and I’ll do me. We weren’t created to be carbon copies.
What I AM interested in is taking very good care of myself. Physically, emotionally and Spiritually. If I’m not pouring into myself, who is going to? I’m not looking for someone else to fill up my cup. That is my responsibility. It’s also not my job to keep building someone else up. That is theirs.
Working on you as a person is the greatest Gift you can give yourself and trust me, you deserve it! Building yourself up and learning to really like WHO you are and being Content in your LIFE is the yellow brick road to self respect. I like to call it Peace.
Remember this….If you don’t respect yourself, how can anyone else respect you?
DO better and BE better. You were made for more than crumbs.
