Dontbeacrumqueen

I started this podcast as the result of my own experience in a narcissistic abusive marriage, which I eventually left. My hope is that as you listen, you will gain a better understanding of what narcissistic abuse is and how to be an Overcomer, not just a survivor. It is my heart’s desire for every woman to know how valuable you are and how much you contribute to the goodness in this world. Don't ever accept crumbs. Live the Life you Deserve. Disclaimer: I am NOT a professional counselor and I do not have a degree in this area. I am simply someone who was able to find true hope after narcissistic abuse and wanted to share what has helped me personally.

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Dontbeacrumqueen

Turning Pain Into Power

December 27, 2024 • Sher • Episode 62

Life can really deal us some heavy blows when it comes to pain. It can come in the form of loss, abandonment, rejection, or even disappointment on how Life has turned out.

We ALL have stories to tell about how our hearts were broken. For some it may have been by their parents. For others it was siblings, friends, spouses, or romantic partners. The reality is we cannot escape pain, BUT, we can choose how we respond to it.

Welcome to the Dontbeacrumqueen podcast. My name is Sher and I’m your host.

Life can really deal us some heavy blows when it comes to pain. It can come in the form of loss, abandonment, rejection, or even disappointment on how Life has turned out.

Some would argue that Love is the greatest teacher in this Life but I disagree. I believe that Pain is. Pain moves us to choose one of two ways. We can embrace the opportunity to Rise Up, Learn, Grow and Transform from it or we can choose to remain a victim. Neither path is easy but one of them leads to Life and the other, well, a slow death of your Soul.

What if you could turn your pain into Power? And if you could, what would that look like?

First off, consider the fact that you might need some help getting through this. There is no shame in asking for help from a qualified professional to help you sort through your painful trauma so you can come out on the other side. While everyone may not be able to afford to go to a professional, there are options to getting the help you need (even online). You may have to try a few counselors before you find one you jive with but don’t let that stop you from getting the help you need.

Another very important step in your healing process is to STOP comparing your pain to everyone else’s! Your pain was designed for YOUR personal growth just like someone else’s pain was designed for theirs. If you continue to believe that no one has endured what you have gone through, you will never rise out of the Victim mentality. You will go through Life envying those who have risen out of the Ashes despite their painful experiences. As you watch Blessings unfold in their Life, you honestly find it a little irritating. On the outside you may appear happy and supportive but on the inside there is a part of you (even if you don’t admit it) that wishes they would still be unhappy. What you don’t see is the amount of hard work they have done to confront the part of themselves that needed to grow and change. If you’re not willing to do that in your own Life, then you have no right to envy someone else who has.

As I mentioned, being willing to confront the parts of you that contribute, or contributed, to your painful experiences takes Courage and Humility. It is not for the faint of heart but it is for someone who TRULY wants to understand why they operate the way they do or why they keep repeating the same pattern. The day I finally admitted that my inability to set healthy boundaries was something I needed to work on was incredibly humbling. It’s so much easier to blame everyone else for the reasons why you are the way you are but at some point, you have to face your own shortcomings. Coming to terms with the unhealthy parts of myself took me to a whole new level of Freedom. My entire Vision changed about how I see Life. Pain becomes Opportunity.

I’m not going to sit here and say I’ve got it all figured out because I do not. That’s why they call it a Journey. I do know that being honest about the unhealthy parts of me and understanding where they came from and how to be intentional about changing them has been life altering.

There is NO WAY to turn your pain into Power without going THROUGH it. So if you’re not willing to change, if you’re not willing to admit the hard truths about yourself, if you’re not willing to be intentional about becoming Authentic then you will remain powerless the rest of your life. It’s just that simple.

The choice is yours. I hope you choose well.