Dontbeacrumqueen

I started this podcast as the result of my own experience in a narcissistic abusive marriage, which I eventually left. My hope is that as you listen, you will gain a better understanding of what narcissistic abuse is and how to be an Overcomer, not just a survivor. It is my heart’s desire for every woman to know how valuable you are and how much you contribute to the goodness in this world. Don't ever accept crumbs. Live the Life you Deserve. Disclaimer: I am NOT a professional counselor and I do not have a degree in this area. I am simply someone who was able to find true hope after narcissistic abuse and wanted to share what has helped me personally.

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Dontbeacrumqueen

Your Confidence

November 21, 2024 • Sher • Episode 60

Welcome to the Dontbeacrumqueen podcast. My name is Sher and I'm your host.
Today, I want to talk about confidence.

We’ve all met them, men and women who exude confidence and walk with such purpose. When you are around them, you can’t help but be drawn to them. You sense they have something you want but how do you get it?

Welcome to the Dontbeacrumqueen podcast. My name is Sher and I’m your host.

Today I want to talk about confidence.

We’ve all met them, men and women who exude confidence and walk with such purpose. When you are around them, you can’t help but be drawn to them. You sense they have something you want but how do you get it?

First off, let’s identify what TRUE self confidence is NOT. It is NOT arrogant or brash. It does not brag, nor need to be a know it all. It does not need to always be right (even if they’re wrong). True confidence is not competitive and does not seek to put others down so they can feel superior. It does not judge.

True self confidence is actually QUIET. It’s a calm knowing of who you are as a person and what you believe in. There is no need to be competitive because you know your worth and do not seek outside approval. Confident people celebrate the Light they find in others free of comparison. They LISTEN more than they speak because they don’t have anything to prove to anyone. Confident people are not afraid to “own their shit” and admit when they are wrong. They will most likely see it as a personal growth opportunity and not a hit to their self-esteem.

When it comes to body language, a confident person will stand with an open chest, shoulders back, and head held high and own the space they are in. They will shake your hand with a firm, solid grip, smiling, as if to say “hello, great to meet you”. They are not easily intimidated.

Their communication is clear and concise. A confident person does not ramble on and on. They say what they mean in a straight forward manner and are able to articulate their thoughts well. Due to their curious nature and ability to be an engaged listener, they are not just waiting for an opportunity to speak. Instead, they will give the person they are interacting with their utmost attention and when the time is right, they will ask thought provoking questions. After all, surface conversation is not enticing to them at all.

Confident people are not afraid to fail. As a matter of fact, they see failures as an opportunity to learn and grow. They apply the lesson to their life, rise up, and move forward.

This kind of confidence can be very threatening to those who are struggling to find it within themselves. In those cases, it’s not uncommon for them to lash out at the confident person and try to tear them down or attempt to imitate a version of it which actually comes off as arrogance. The attack against the confident person comes from their own self esteem issues. It has nothing to do with the confident person.

So, if you feel like you’re lacking confidence and confident people really irritate you, how can you become more like them?

Well, that is an internal battle that each one of us has the opportunity to overcome. It starts with embracing your strengths and avoiding comparing yourself to others. There will always be someone who is further along than you or way behind you. Looking for external validation for who you are as a person will always tear at your self-esteem and lower your confidence. OWN who you are. OWN your uniqueness.

And last, but not least, have a heart that is teachable. Our life is all about evolving, not remaining stagnant. Humility is a better garment to adorn than pride is. After all, pride leads to a pretty big fall.

Everyone struggles with confidence from time to time but you can choose to be the one who overcomes the struggle. You can do it, you just have to WANT to.

Don’t dim your light because you lack confidence. Find it, and then SHINE like hell!