Dontbeacrumqueen

I started this podcast as the result of my own experience in a narcissistic abusive marriage, which I eventually left. My hope is that as you listen, you will gain a better understanding of what narcissistic abuse is and how to be an Overcomer, not just a survivor. It is my heart’s desire for every woman to know how valuable you are and how much you contribute to the goodness in this world. Don't ever accept crumbs. Live the Life you Deserve. Disclaimer: I am NOT a professional counselor and I do not have a degree in this area. I am simply someone who was able to find true hope after narcissistic abuse and wanted to share what has helped me personally.

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Dontbeacrumqueen

Being the Bigger Person

October 05, 2023 • Sher • Episode 49

Welcome to the Dontbeacrumqueen podcast. My name is Sher and I’m your host.

In a world where challenges seem to be a daily occurrence, there’s a time when “Being the Bigger Person” or as some people say “Taking the High Road” is valuable, especially when dealing with difficult or toxic people.

Welcome to the Dontbeacrumqueen podcast. My name is Sher and I’m your host.

In a world where challenges seem to be a daily occurrence, there’s a time when “Being the Bigger Person” or as some people say “Taking the High Road” is valuable, especially when dealing with difficult or toxic people.

In order to get to the place where you can execute being the bigger person, it means, through your own healing Journey, you’ve learned not to allow your emotions to lead your responses. You know who you are and you understand your worth. It’s not about being cocky. It’s about unshakeable confidence that comes from within. You have nothing to prove to anyone and you don’t always have to be the smartest person in the room and you’re OK with that.

So what does this “bigger person” mentality look like?

Deciding to be the bigger person means you take a stance and no longer entangle yourself in the childish, manipulative ways of others. It means YOU are choosing to be the more mature person. Even though you could slice and dice them six ways to Sunday, you don’t allow your anger to get the best of you. Instead, you choose not to stoop to their level by retaliating or engaging in a screaming match. You simply rise above the drama because being right isn’t worth losing your Peace over. You may have to walk away from those who continue to hurt you or leave altogether whether that’s a job or a relationship.

What it does NOT mean is that you are a doormat for others or enable an abusive person. You are NOT silenced into submission and you do not have to accept destructive behavior. It does NOTmean that you will offer unlimited forgiveness and give chance after chance to someone who continues to hurt you. You don’t have to act like everything is fine and swallow the offenses. It’s OK to end relationships with toxic people to protect your own well-being.

Remember, when people are trying to manipulate you it stems from their needs not being met. They’ve learned (most likely back to their childhood) strategic control tactics to get what they want. If you can learn to SEE where this behavior is coming from, and not take it personally, it will help you understand it’s about THEM, not you. However, this does NOT mean you tolerate abusive behavior.

As hard as it may be to deal with such difficult people, it is also an opportunity to learn things about yourself that can be improved upon. Personal growth, doesn’t come without a cost.

Taking the high road is intentional and is an act of maturity, grace and being classy. We aren’t going to get it right every time but being intentional about the words you speak is a healthy goal to have.

So the next time you are faced with a difficult or toxic person who is enticing you to negatively engage, DON’T.

You’ll thank yourself later.