Dontbeacrumqueen

I started this podcast as the result of my own experience in a narcissistic abusive marriage, which I eventually left. My hope is that as you listen, you will gain a better understanding of what narcissistic abuse is and how to be an Overcomer, not just a survivor. It is my heart’s desire for every woman to know how valuable you are and how much you contribute to the goodness in this world. Don't ever accept crumbs. Live the Life you Deserve. Disclaimer: I am NOT a professional counselor and I do not have a degree in this area. I am simply someone who was able to find true hope after narcissistic abuse and wanted to share what has helped me personally.

All Episodes

Dontbeacrumqueen

Relationships Reveal Our Wounds

August 15, 2024 • Sher • Episode 58

I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships lately and how they affect us, whether that’s good or bad.

As human beings, I believe we were created to want and enjoy relationships with others. Relationships are places where we hope to find Everlasting Love, Comfort, Peace, Joy and Acceptance. However, more often than not, what we find is that relationships are more like sandpaper. Smoothing out our rough edges and exposing our unhealed wounds.

Welcome to the Dontbeacrumqueen podcast. My name is Sher and I’m your host.

I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships lately and how they affect us, whether that’s good or bad.

As painful as this experience can be it’s also an incredible Gift. Some people say that love is the greatest Teacher but I believe pain is. I mean how many people in this world are trying to numb themselves through various avenues so they don’t have to feel pain?

Unfortunately, we can’t escape pain and we can’t grow as a person apart from it. If you are someone who would prefer NOT to look at your past wounds, you have most likely created a safe zone to minimize the risk of pain. Your preference will be low vibrational people who won’t challenge you to heal. Sadly, your high, impenetrable walls have created a prison for you. It certainly isn’t going to heal the pain you’ve endured in the past but it will provide a temporary distraction so you don’t have to look. You will, however, remain stuck.

If you aren’t the person who is burying their head in the sand and you’re starting to get curious about the disruptions in your relationship and what part you play in it, then welcome to the land of the Brave! Your curiosity is the first step in raising your self awareness about your own wounds, which by the way, we ALL have.

In order to have the relationship you deserve, you have to be willing to show up as the best version of yourself. I’m not going to tell you it will be easy, because it won’t be, but it will be WORTH it. It also doesn’t mean that you can’t begin this Journey while ALREADY in a relationship. Good grief, if I waited until I was completely healed I would never be in a relationship! Healing is an ongoing commitment.

Exploring your old wounds will require you to lay down the armor you’ve put on over the years to protect yourself. This is not the time to shove your feelings down as far as they can go. It’s a time to stop the self talk in your head which fuels a victim mentality, defensive reactions, and the need to justify your choices. Your wounds don’t have to keep wounding you. But in order to release their hold on you, it will require you to be completely HONEST with yourself. No excuses.

Learn to be teachable. You’re never going to be able to navigate the mine field of your old wounds if you aren’t willing to learn (or unlearn as the case may be). Although you think you have a lot of knowledge when it comes to relationships, you don’t know everything. Having a teachable mindset will keep you from having a defensive posture and will enable you to be humble enough to LISTEN and then really HEAR.

Hearing leads to self reflection and self reflection leads to a better understanding of ourselves and how we operate. Remember to filter conversations with others through a humble heart and your intuition. Pride has no place here.

If you feel like you are ready to take your power back instead of letting old wounds control your life, it’s going to be uncomfortable, no doubt. By making a commitment to heal and Love yourself ENOUGH, it will keep you from looking for external validation.

Many of us have overcome deep wounds and we have the scars to prove it. I know I personally am Grateful for the road I have traveled. Although I do not want to repeat it, it was very necessary to assist me in becoming WHO I am today. I wouldn’t trade that for the world. I like her. I Love her.

You too deserve the Best so commit to BEING your Best! There is always room for improvement, for ALL of us.